The Challenge

"Who You Are" - Jessie J 

listen and see these lyrics

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:

"Why am I doing this to myself?"

Losing my mind on a tiny error,

I nearly left the real me on the shelf.

no

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?

I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah!

The more I try the less it's working, yeah

'Cause everything inside me screams

No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

There's nothing wrong with who you are!

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like WHOA!

Just go, and leave me alone!

Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,

With a smile, that's my home!

That's my home, no...

No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay...

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are!

I will get to the chase... I did not make it into CCM again, and at first it really hurt me and this song has helped me through it.  I would just like to walk through the words of this song and what they mean to me.

"...losing my mind on a tiny error"  

It is so easy to look at yourself in the mirror after an audition, or after a rejection letter and tear at yourself trying to find one mistake or why you weren't good enough.  You could have said the wrong word or could do one small thing from keeping your work 'perfect'.  

"...I nearly left the real me on the shelf"   

Again these auditions can frighten me and have me so worked up to nearly being something I am not.  Sometimes its hard to remember your trying to share your passion instead of trying to impress someone that you are good enough.  

I will get to the chorus last

"... I forgot what to do to fit the mold." 

 Forgetting or over thinking what it means to be normal, or even how to fit their standards... 

"...the more I try the less it's working."  

Auditioning for what seems a million chances and only sometimes seeming like getting nowhere more and more each time

"Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like whoa"  

Just some things that come with the struggle of being an artist more-so a musical theatre artist.  I really like how she put "yes" as a singular and the "no's" as plural.  Further reinforces 'the thousand no's before that one yes"  Egos.. you pretty much have to have one in order to make it  some are fake some are real just seeing what the world of art is composed of is like whoa.

"Real talk, real life, good love, good night.. with a smile, that's my home" 

The real things in this life are the best and happiest things you can come back to (home) when facing the hurt of rejection.  Knowing you can be the real you with someone you love and feel appreciated by the real things after trying to be 'loved' by those you are auditioning for. 

and finally the chorus

I am a lover of the stars, and it is hard to see myself as a star sometimes.  My favorite line of this song is 

"Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars"

Up to the point where I heard this song, stars have always had a positive connotation for me but in this song you can see the word in a different light.   In trying to find my place among the 'stars' I have felt like I have almost lost myself.  These 'stars' can blur your vision from all the cut-throat-catty-judgmental-rejecting things you will have to overcome along the way.  The greater the struggle however, the greater the achievement, thus the brighter the star.  No two stars are exactly the same, they don't burn the same.  They are who they are, nobody else can be them.  So in a sense in order to become a star you have to find your way with just being yourself.

"seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing" 

Seeing where these actors and performers are on stage is deceiving when you see how magical it is.  There is so much it takes to get there.  Dreaming and believing in yourself is what it will take to get there.

"...it's okay not to be okay"  

A relieving line for me to listen to in this song.  Comforting to know that yes you are allowed to be hurt and that we are human.  We are allowed to have feelings

"..sometimes it hard to follow your heart"  

Especially in any competitive field like the arts.  It is so hard to think that something we can all enjoy can also cause so much pain to other people.  Sometimes in order for a heart to be fulfilled another one is fallen in the process.

"Tears don't mean your losing, everybody's bruising.."  

Again you are allowed to be hurt but more so this time tears can mean that you win too.  To be in touch with your emotions and be able to let it out with a good cry is good instead of keeping it all in and building rage.  You are not alone in hurting especially when it comes to Music theatre.  People in this field do way more then sweat, cry, and even ignore the pain whether you are striving today as in artist or auditioning to become one.  

"Just be true to who you are"  

The simplest yet most effective saying in the song.  You will always come out on top, no matter how many rejections or critiques or let downs, if you stay true to who you are.  Staying true to who you are will help you make it in this world.  

I would just like to say to that in the twilight of light and dark in this world, that while someone in this world succeeds, another person had that same dream and didn't get it.  For these college auditions, just to give you a perspective, over 700 people have auditioned for CCM while only 20 people (at the most) will have there dreams come true. 680 or so will have to fail for those 20 to become something.  Another college I am auditioning for has invited 250 or so to audition (myself being one) while only 4 of them will make it.  I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason but in order for these hundreds of people to find their place in this world, after putting so much faith and work into what they love (and some who feel they aren't meant to do anything else), they will have to be absolutely crushed and demolished by the idea that they weren't 'good enough' for some reason.

I wish the best of luck to those people and hope that this song helps those who are hurting from any kind of competitive field.

Like all stars too though, they don't shoot in the same direction or location

keep shooting my stars

Shooting always,

Ryhutch